Theme time!

Alright! I've been discovering that one of the best ways to deal with sadness (while simultaneously working on coping, of course) is by distracting yourself with doing something you love. So, I've decided to blog about my wedding :)

I feel the need to share something with you. Something that gets me excited, and a little happy in the pants.

We're going to have a carnival-esque themed wedding!!!

I absolutely *adore* going to fairs and carnivals. There is something about walking around on a nice, breezy summer night, listening to music, eating foods you didn't even know came fried, licking cotton candy off of your fingers, dancing under both the strings of lights and the stars- it's romantic to me. It's romantic, and it feels timeless and youthful and just plain, old fun- which is what we're going for. My relationship with Mikey has always been about how much fun we have when we're together. We've celebrated "monthiversaries" (more on those later) at carnivals, the Renaissance fair, town fairs, the Wisconsin state fair, etc. It's an atmosphere that really fits our 'couple personality' and the idea that our reception will be able to have that kind of energy excites me to no end!

When we first got engaged, I mentioned the idea of a carnival themed wedding to Mikey, and he kind of shot it down. He wasn't cruel about it, but at that point, he was only marginally familiar with different kinds of weddings, and his main idea of a wedding is what he saw in movies, and on the cover of wedding magazines my mom bought me. Since I'm all about compromise, I shelved the idea of a carnival wedding and went to look for a more conventional theme we would both be happy with.

As I've mentioned before, our wedding has morphed a lot over the past year and a half. We've always wanted an outdoor wedding (or at the very least, a wedding with an outdoor option) and we decided very early on that our number one main color would be cobalt blue. Over the last two months, we've been talking a lot about more details of the wedding, and I tentatively brought up the idea of a carnival wedding again. This time, Mikey was much more accepting in terms of the idea, and with a few parameters set (no clowns, no carnival music, etc-- all those things I wouldn't have done anyway) he happily agreed.

So Mikey's agreed, but he's not one hundred percent sure exactly what I'm envisioning. I was explaining it to him, the other day, and I got the, "But babe- isn't that kind of what we were planning before?"

In a way...yes? We always wanted the lights, the music, the contagious atmosphere- but we've changed the menu, and some of the deserts, and our tentative designs for the invites will have to be scrapped completely. I plan on adding a popcorn machine and cotton candy machine, and a lot of other fun little details-- but enough typing, I'll share a few pictures (not mine-- YET) of projects I hope to tackle to make my wedding a tastefully fun romp through carnival-wedding fun land. Enjoy!



I love the way these invites look- cobalt blue is our main color, but we're also going to have different shades of blue as accents. I'm not the biggest red/pink fan, but these next two invites do it so well- I love them!

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I am *definitely* having these at my wedding- I love these (what would you call them?) wood-cut-out-stick-your-faces-through things. They amuse me to no end, and Mikey and I have pictures in a few. They're so vintage carnival, and I can't wait to paint my own! (That's right, you heard me! I love a fun, artistic challenge!)

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I think having a kissing booth at the wedding could be a lot of fun- I know we have a few groomsman who would just love to hop behind the (hopefully!) well constructed counter and dole out kisses for a twenty-five cent piece! Plus, just like the cardboard cut outs, it looks so vintage- and I adore vintage.

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Any other carnival elements you think I should incorporate into our wedding? :)

Solidarity

Everyone experiences loss and difficulties; this is not something limited to just myself, my family, or those I know. Grief is a universal language.

Mikey and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We ate at both my parents' house, as well as his sister's house, with his family. It was delicious, and we ended the day full of food, drink, and happiness.

On Saturday, however, we experienced a tragedy. Since some of the details are still fresh in everyone's mind, and I know that my family (who, on occasion, read my blog) are still struggling for a way to deal with the loss we experienced, I won't go into many details. We lost a furry member of our family, and the way that it happened was unbelievably heartbreaking. Even if I were to give a detailed account, there is no way to explain to anyone who was not in the room the magnitude of anguish felt by those who were present. There was a lot of pain on Saturday, and everyone is still working on healing.

We had originally planned on playing D and D (I know, we're nerds) on Saturday, and just relaxing as a family over the Thanksgiving weekend. However, after we lost our little buddy, we were all in kind of a daze for a while. There was guilt all around. There was a lot of crying and sobbing, and no-one was quite sure how to respond to the death.

We had just lost our family dog of 11 years last month, so losing another friend so soon really opened a fresh wound (especially for my younger siblings), and instead of the laughter-filled weekend we had all anticipated, the afternoon on Saturday was spent digging a grave out by a tree on my parent's property and holding a funeral.

Afterward, we went inside, and Sam and I decided the best way to deal with a situation such as this was to celebrate the life of the friend, rather than grieve over the loss- not that the grieving process isn't important. In order to deal with death, you really need to let yourself feel the pain and process all of the emotions that come with it. However, it was feeling as if my family was kind of crumbling, from the inside out, and we knew we had to do something.

We drank, we ate, we attempted to be merry.

We played our game, and as we all gathered around the table, a laugh would catch one of my siblings off guard, and for a while, everything was ok again. Everyone played, and so we sat in the dining room, cozy and squished next to one another (there are a lot of us) and it felt...safer, somehow. We all knew of what happened that day- no one was ignoring it- but it seemed that we all knew that if we were all doing something together, we could heal together. Occasionally, one of us would have to take a break, and so the rest of us would sit around, making jokes- or two of us would split off into another room to cry, and let some of the emotion out. When we were done, we'd head back in, and keep playing.

Today, things were better. Christmas lights were hung, a TV show was watched together, and we all ate, drank, and let ourselves be merry. There was still a bit of reserve in the air, and a little sadness- but since we were all together, it was easier.



I've been very fortunate in my life- up until this point, I haven't had to deal with much loss, and not nearly as much as those close to me have. I'm an extremely emotional person, and I know that if I let myself, a single emotion can take over me. When my friends experience loss, it hurts me, too. I'm a sensitive person when it comes to death, and I'm not sure how easy it'll be for me to deal with it on an even grander scale when that day comes.

I learned, however, that family is important. That to surround yourself with the people who love and support you, who let you lean on them when you can't hold yourself up anymore, who will let you express how you're feeling unabashedly- those are the people who are important.

My family will always be there for me. I know we may not always get along swimmingly well, but in the hard times, down in the trenches- I know they've got my back, and they know I've got theirs.

This year, I'm thankful, more than ever, for my family.

Little Details

...in a literal sense. Figuratively, it's a bit of a bigger deal.

I'm talking cake toppers.

I've had a hard time deciding exactly what I want to top our (cup)cake.

It's not that I don't know what I want- it's just that I want so many different things! There's the whole bird-cake-topper craze that's going on right now. I think they're super beautiful, but I don't have the best relationship with birds. We've never really gotten along. We send each other Christmas cards, birds and I, but we don't really hang out or ever get coffee together.

There are those adorable little wooden people you can find on etsy, where the artist takes elements of your wedding dress, colors, and personality and makes you and your SO (significant other) into these tiny, little wooden replicas of your wedding-day-selves. For a while, I considered going to Hobby Lobby (a *huge* craft store with all of your crafting needs, and then some) and getting some wood for myself to paint/decorate.

However, today, on a break at work, I came up with what I want to do-well, at least the general idea.

I want to do a salt and pepper shaker wedding cake topper.

You see, I love salt and pepper shakers- not the normal, boring, cylindrical ones that you shove to the back of cabinets, but the intricately designed, vintage, totally off-the-wall shakers. I think it stems partially for my love of all things mini- my two favorite salt and pepper shakers right now are the ones that look like mini pumpkins, and the ones that look like mini teapots (I also love teapots, but that's really quite irrelevant to this post). I love the idea of shrinking something down and slapping a seasoning inside of it.

"Oh, is that a mini rollerskate with rosemary?"

"A mini tophat with thyme??"

"A mini cupcake with cumen???"

"ADORABLE!"

I think you get the picture.

So, as I was sitting at work, I was looking at an article in a magazine on how women were taking parts of their centerpieces, and incorporating them into decorations for their house: reusing vases, drying out flowers to use as potpourri- just tons of wonderful ideas. I love the idea of having little memories of our wedding around the house, becoming a part of who we are, the background of our daily lives. I also love the idea that so many of the details I spent hours upon hours and days upon days ruminating over wouldn't be a one-time-use deal.

On the next page of the magazine, there were a bunch of pictures of cake toppers, and I got to thinking that it would be wonderful if I could use our toppers as something after the wedding- and it just clicked.

I want salt and pepper cake toppers.

Let me rephrase that: I desperately want salt and pepper cake toppers.

I started looking at shakers today, and I found some that just melted my heart a little bit. I'm still not sure quite which kind I'm looking for, but I think I'll know it when I see it.

I'm excited at the idea of being able to bring out our 'special' shakers on certain days (holidays, anniversaries, birthdays) and have a flood of memories. I talked to Mikey, and he's completely on board.

Even though I haven't picked a favorite, yet, here are some notable finds that make me smile.

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I know, I said birds and I don't get along (and we don't)- but aren't these so endearing? I would totally go to coffee with these guys.

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One of the things I say sometimes (and I could not, for the life of me, tell you why) is "I am a robop". I don't know. But these guys are precious!

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Cutest. Ninjas. Ever.

What do you think? Do you have a unique idea for a cake topper? Do you like birds, or do you have a lukewarm relationship with them, like me?