It's not always rainbows and sunshine...

...and puppies and bubblegum.

What do I mean by this?

Sometimes, wedding planning just downright sucks.

Now, don't get me wrong. I generally *adore* wedding planning. I love looking at other weddings, drinking in all of the little details, the color schemes, the delicious food, the great playlists, the DIY projects- all of it. I read wedding magazines and books on my breaks at work (one of my jobs is a barista at Barnes and Noble) and peruse wedding websites and blogs on my days off. I've helped family plan weddings, and when more of my friends begin to get married, I'm positive I'm not only going to be thrilled for them, but passing along every magazine I've bought, as well as links to helpful sites. I love weddings, and even though I'm not ordinarily an organized person (at all...I'd show you a picture of my room, but that's a pretty scary place) but with weddings, some sort of switch in me turns on. I know exactly what I need to do, how to do it, and when. I have folders and binders and bookmarks- I've compared dozens of vendors, and have kept track of who/what I do and don't like.

I'm also generally a procrastinator (in fact, there *may* be a 5-10 page paper due tomorrow I should be working on right now...but that's what mornings are for!), but again, not so with weddings! Having a two year engagement has let me spread out a lot of the planning (or at least becoming familiar with vendors and ideas) but I haven't wasted any time on doing things for the wedding. Even if I was not constantly DIYing details, I was composing lists, writing down songs whenever I heard them for the reception set list, etc.

Wedding planning has brought out a few of my better qualities, and for that, I'm thankful. It hasn't yet turned me into a raging, hormonal, self-centered bride, as all the magazines warned me to watch out for. I've not yet once screamed at a family member or random stranger about tulle or buttercream, and to be honest, I don't plan on it. I despise the insinuation from many wedding planning sources that brides will, at least at one point in the wedding process, have a major freak out where they say hurtful things to someone they love, or to a potential/booked vendor. It's a stereotype that shows like "Bridezilla" perpetuate, and that are used for the premise of many wedding movies- which I understand, because the more ridiculous the bride, the funnier it is. Although, not every bride (and I'd like to hope a decent majority) is going to morph into someone completely different. I'm not saying that there aren't going to be days when I cry, or get upset, or argue with Mikey- I mean, I do those things every once in a while now, so when planning one of the biggest events of my life, they're bound to happen. I'm just saying that not every bride is going to go insane- a little crazy, from time to time- sure. But not every bride goes full-blown, nut-house crazy.*

*though, as we all know from reading Shakespeare and ancient Greek theatre, hubris is often the hero's downfall- so watch, as I actually get committed due to wedding-related freak outs or stabbings or something.

That being said, I want every bride-to-be to be aware of one thing: It is not always fun. Once you've been comparing photographer's galleries and packages for over three hours, it can get a little tedious. Staring at four different shades of almost the exact same blue can be head-ache inducing. Having to explain your theme to co-workers who ask you about your wedding, and then "don't get it"-- it can be a tad bit annoying. Feeling as though you've looked at two dozen websites, trying to find the average price of sliced deli meat while your fiance does something non-wedding related can be the instigator to a small spat between the two of you.

Those days are the days to just stop.

Take a day off- read a book you've wanted to read, drink some hot chocolate, give the fiance a backrub (or ask for one in return), go for a rousing romp in the sheets, take a bath- basically, take the time to get wedding off of the brain and relaaaaax.

I find that when I give myself "off" days, where I don't do anything wedding related, I get a lot more done than if I had powered through another hour of planning that I wasn't enjoying. Often, the next day, I'll find that I enjoy looking up pricing again, or that I easily find the phone number I frustratingly couldn't find for forty-five minutes the day before. Once you let yourself become too stressed about the planning, it's not as fun. And really, the whole thing should be a wonderful trip- you get to marry the person you love, surrounded by those you love, with food you love, and music you love, and in shoes you love-- you get to orchestrate the greatest party of all time!

Every now and then, though, it's nice to just kind of bug off and play in the snow.

Which, I think, is what I'll do now.


Any great tips for de-stressing?


  1. Bubble baths with a great book/music and a cuppa tea!

  2. Are you looking for a wedding photographer still? A friend of mine from high school works the Chicago/Milwaukee corridor. Don't know his prices, but he does some pretty good stuff.