Tradition #1: The Head Table.

Sometimes it’s difficult when it’s snowing like crazy outside (and it is!) to think of anything happening in the summer, or the summer, period. It’s days like these that you want to just curl up with a good book in front of a fireplace, next to your tree, drinking hot chocolate.

While browsing the internet, all snuggled up in Mikey’s favorite reclining chair, I stumbled upon this picture:

“…great,” you’re thinking. “What a neat…little…table?”

Ah, right- it may be a bit difficult to picture what it is (beyond what it literally is, a little table) so let me dress it up for you:

Now, that’s what I’m talking about.

I discovered the ‘sweetheart table’ about a year into our engagement, and at first, I wasn’t quite sure what I thought about it. I definitely thought it looked cute, and very cozy- but at the same time I worried that having a sweetheart table would maybe alienate me from my guests, or would hurt the feelings of my bridal party.

Then I realized just how many people we have in our bridal party (it’s a lot, but that’s for another time…) and how many of them have kids (6 of them) and how, if we were to do a head table, I would feel bad also excluding my parents. The number of people I’d want to include at our head table started to climb. Then that got into this whole huge mess of ‘how do we expand the head table so that we can fit our bridal party, their family, and everyone else all up on it’?

The answer is, we don’t!

I’ve done some research on the sweetheart table, and the main reason people are saying that they’re a bit taboo for a wedding as a head table is that people will feel less inclined to approach you at your table during the wedding.

…and that’s a bad thing?

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if Mikey and I plan to completely lose ourselves in each other during the wedding and not say a single thing to anyone, but he and I both do like the idea of doing it on our own time. He and I plan to walk around to the tables, greet everyone and thank them for being there—but when we feel the need to drawback a bit and just enjoy our wedding, just the two of us, we can. We’re also not going to chomp anyone’s head off who comes to see us at our table (and, we’ve faced the fact, we don’t exactly hang out with a shy crowd)—I’m sure we’ll be more than happy to talk to them.

BUT—a little break will be nice. All of the little kids in our wedding belong to people in the bridal party, so it’ll be nice for Mom, Dad, and kids to be able to sit together, without us expanding the head table so it takes up over half the tent space.

I also like the idea of creating something *just for us* at the reception. So much work goes into favors for the guests, and providing a good time (which I cannot wait for, I’m not trying to complain!) that everyone will enjoy—but I think one of the projects I’m going to enjoy the most is creating a little bubble for Mikey and I to retreat to on our wedding day.

I’m also thinking, to add to the specialness of it all, of having a disposable camera just for us (or a Polaroid with film, if we can find one in time- they’re discontinuing instant film *tear*) and a little journal, so Mikey and I can take some pictures from the perspective of our little love nest, and jot down different feelings and emotions as we go. Now, I know it’s unrealistic to expect us to sit there and write a whole, “Dear Diary- this is my wedding day…” kind of deal during the wedding, but I want the journal to start out on that morning. One of us will have to start with the journal (not sure who, yet) and write an entry in it about how they’re feeling about the big day. Then, we’ll have someone (a familial lackey) bring the journal to the other one of us, where we can write our feelings about the day.*

*I am still undecided on one point, though- should the second person be able to read the first person’s entry? Part of me thinks it’d be a bit unfair, but if I were the second person, I’m not sure I’d be able to help myself.

Ideally—and I make sure to use this word, because who knows how it’ll actually happen on the day—I’d like for the journal to get around to both of us at least once more, before the ceremony, so we can write again. Our wedding isn’t until late in the evening, so it’s not as if we won’t have the time—I’m just not sure how busy we’ll be.

Anyhoo- the journal will end up on our sweetheart table (by black magic…or same familial lackey) and we’ll be able to (hopefully) record some of the feelings we have throughout the night. It’s kind of like a guestbook, except it’s for the two main guests. Again, I don’t expect any long, super thought out entries, but even having something like, “This evening is perfect, and I love you” written from one of us to the other on our wedding day just seems really special to me.

So, we veto the head table:

Tradition #1: VETOED

...and prepare for the sweetheart table, which opens up a whole new can of decorations: what chairs? What centerpiece? What fabric? Etc, etc, etc. But I cannot wait! I think this will be the one thing in the reception that feels the most “us”.

What do you think about the sweetheart table?


  1. I found a middle ground, because I couldn't decide which I thought was better. So, Davey and I might have a sweetheart table, with two long tables sticking out each side like arms for the wedding party. Best of both worlds. :)

  2. Nice! We definitely want our people close by, but we hadn't fully decided on a floor plan for it yet- I dig that....(and may have to steal it ;) )

  3. I like it. And as it is your day together its important to mingle as your guests have come to share this wonderful day. I know I wish I had spent more time mingling but I love the sweetheart table and your reasoning for it!!