Damn you, eggs!

So this post is *probably* not going to be wedding or relationship related- and I say probably, because even if that's not my original intent for the post, it might sway that way. The point of this post is to talk very, very badly, about:


THIS GUY.
He's kind of a jerk. Like, incredibly so. Mikey decided to make him for breakfast for me, along with one of his ruffian brothers, the other day.

Yes, I perhaps was a bit callous when I gobbled him up without a second thought to his feelings, family and friends. I didn't even blink at the idea that we still had some of his family downstairs in our fridge, probably wondering where he was, and if he'd be back, all while internally debating over their fate and shivering- both out of fear and because of the temperature in our fridge.

While I shoved them down my gullet, I noticed that they seemed to taste a bit funny. At first, I had thought perhaps Mikey had not completely washed the pan that they were so deliciously and cruelly prepared in. On later inquiry, however, it was discovered that the pan was fresh out of the clean dishwasher.

However, later, deep in introspection, I supposed it could have been the spite that the eggs felt for me. Their deep hatred of me, my kind, and what I was doing to them made them angry to the core, which resulted in their bitter taste, due to their bitter hearts.

Now, I'm thinking it could have just been that they were a couple of bad eggs, both literally and figuratively. They probably both terrorized all of the other eggs in their carrier, as well as were most likely past their expiration date.

I ate them, and then I got food poisoning.

Which prevented me from being as active in terms of posting here.

Lesson learned?

Smell your eggs before you cook them, and if they taste weird, stop eating them. They could be out to get you.